Did you know that 80% of new year’s resolutions fail by February?
Yes, even though you’ve prepped and planned to make changes to be the best version of yourself, it’s more than likely all that hard work will be for nothing come February. You’ll be the same person experiencing the same things, and you’ll be quite frustrated that none of your resolutions worked out.
Let’s talk about why.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
In today’s society of instant gratification, we’ve learned to expect things to happen very fast. When you’re thinking about the changes you want to make in your life, it’s possible that you’ve set goals that carry this same type of energy behind them. A desire for healthy living spurs a resolution to “run three miles every day." If that’s not something you’ve worked up to it’ll wear you out way before February.
Unrealistic expectations will derail your resolutions in an instant. Instead, try to take things one step at a time. Choose something that will have the most beneficial impact on your life and break down the various steps to getting there.
For example, if a healthier lifestyle is one of your resolutions you could commit to cooking two fresh meals a week. Eventually, you can raise that number to include even more. You’re more than likely to stick with it because you’ve broken it down and you’re not overwhelming yourself right of the bat.
The conscious mind is only the tip of the iceberg.
Yes, you can say that you want to save more money, but if your subconscious beliefs reflect lack and scarcity, you’re going to have a hell of a time trying to succeed. This is because your subconscious, which governs your habits, beliefs, and emotions, makes up about 88% of your mind. You’ve got to get the subconscious on board for a change to happen.
Luckily, there are a variety of tools that can help you do this. By paying attention to the thoughts running through you’re head, you can start to get an idea of what’s going on beneath the surface. Start exploring where a specific thought or belief comes from. A Tarot reading can also help shed some light on subconscious beliefs, along with hypnosis, journaling or meditation.
Try being S.M.A.R.T
Being vague about your own goals isn’t going to get you very far; especially, if you’re not even sure why you’ve chosen them in the first place. There’s a lot of societal pressure to meet specific standards so you might feel compelled to create a goal that meets society’s standards, but not your own.
The first way to combat this is to connect with your “Why?” Why is this goal important to you? Do you want to save more money because that’s what everyone else seems to be doing? Or do you want to save more money because you’d like to go on that vacation to the mountains with your family next summer?
Another way to rid yourself of vague goals is to make them S.M.A.R.T.:
Specific: What is that you want? Be clear and concrete. (i.e., “I want to save $7,000 to take a trip to Europe by June 2020.”)
Measurable: How are you going to measure your progress? (i.e., “I’ll keep a record of my savings account each month.”)
Achievable: Is this goal achievable and realistic? Saving $7,000 by June 2020 might not currently be realistic for your budget. If not, revisit your goal and see how you can make it practical.
Relevant: Why does this goal matter to you? Think about your reasons behind it.
Time-Bound: Is your timeline realistic? What smaller goals can you set up along the way to allow yourself to celebrate your progress?
False Evidence Appearing Real
Fear is the big boogeyman when it comes to achieving your goals. It shows up in a few different ways:
You’re afraid of failing and letting yourself or other people down.
Your goal seems so large that you have no idea how or where to begin. Because you’re feeling unsure, you think it’s a better idea not even to bother trying.
You started taking steps towards your goal, and you’ve hit your first obstacle. That’s that, you think, I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
Fear is your ego’s way of keeping you safe. It comes from humanity’s prehistoric days when it was one of the only things preventing you from being lunch for a saber-toothed tiger. You don’t have to fight or flee a saber-tooth nowadays, but the feeling still pops up anytime you’re confronted with something that may be perceived as “dangerous."
You have to keep in mind that the ego perceives anything unknown as dangerous, so it activates your fear response. It feels threatened because it’s not familiar with the circumstances and it sounds the alarm to get you away from whatever it isn’t in control of. It doesn’t know whether this thing could actually be good for you.
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
It’s up to you to decide whether you buy into the stories that the ego feeds you to feel safe again. No one will hire you, so it’s best you don’t start your own business. Everyone will think you’re a fool, it says. You have to ask yourself whether you choose to believe this thought. If you readily agree with it, ask yourself how you know it to be 100% true? You’ll probably see that once again it’s just your fear trying to hold you back.
Are you ready to make 2019 the best year of your life?
Making changes in your life may seem frustrating and scary, but it has the potential to be empowering and exhilarating. There’s no need to take a wrecking ball to your life and load yourself up with a ton of resolutions. Start small. Choose things that feel aligned. Know that change takes time.
Don’t beat yourself up when you encounter an obstacle or listen to that fear voice that tells you that you suck at life or things won’t get better. Expose that voice for the liar that it is.
Try getting S.M.A.R.T. with your resolutions. Celebrate your wins no matter how small.
You are more powerful thank you know. Believe in yourself and watch 2019 be the best damn year or your life!